Chp 4 - Angel Numbers or Free Will?

In this video, I talk about how my understanding of Angel Numbers changed over time. In the beginning, I didn’t believe in them and didn’t know they existed. But at the beginning of my spiritual journey in 2019, and after consistently getting 9:11 on the clock and receipts, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a deeper message.

I began researching Angel numbers and numerology in general. My belief developed into: they must be messages from the Universe/Source/Spirit/what-have-you that are related to the message of the numbers. For example, if I saw 4:44, it meant something like: I am in alignment and building secure foundations, or something to that effect (depending on the situation it applied to). That developed into a more complex system involving 11:11 and 12:12 and my birthday time and then advanced numbers like 36:36, etc.

Over the last 7 years of my spiritual journey, I’ve come to believe that they simply indicate “alignment”. With whatever energy the numbers are related to. Not “a message from the Universe that this is what I’m supposed to be doing”.

This was a very scary revelation to me (on a subconscious level) that it was never about affirming what I’m supposed to be doing. But just a confirmation (simply a mirror - like Law of Attraction) that at the current moment, my energy is in alignment with me.

I wanted Angel Numbers to give me guidance and direction. If they’re not doing that, then who the fu.. is giving me guidance and direction?!

Me?!

Surely not.

And thus I stumbled upon: the hard-earned lesson into the terrifying concept of what Free Will actually means.

My hot take: Most people think they’re acting of Free Will all day, everyday. But if they haven’t done the hard work of Shadow Work and releasing limiting beliefs and emotionally healing the Inner Child & Parent and come to wrestle with and integrate the Human Self and Spiritual Self, then they’re not acting out of Free Will but out of a reflexive reaction to old conditioning.

Out of reactions to a past that they’ve projected so thoroughly onto the present moment that they can’t see they’re stuck in an illusory loop that keeps them believing they’re dealing with new problems when in fact, it’s the same, unresolved patterns from when they were young.

Until we deal with, heal and release those old patterns, we are acting not out of Free Will, but out of reactionary behavior to parents, teachers, friends, religion, politics, social media, society and everything else that conditioned us out of trusting OUR OWN TRUTH and CHOOSING TO LIVE IN ALIGNMENT WITH IT AT EVERY CHOICE, regardless of the way it looks to anyone else. That is Free Will.

And it is utterly terrifying.

This is the state of Fear in the Collective Human Unconscious.

You can watch the video on this below.